David and Me on our Wedding Day in Studio City, CA

A while back I was interested in the stock market and various other investment opportunities. Then one day it occurred to me that I had better things to do with my time. Bottom line, investing money bores me. I don’t have the patience for it which I know is probably too bad given we live in such a money oriented society.

My brother used to work in finance and he balanced all my retirement accounts. He was damned good at it too and I rode through some fairly rough times without losing  much money. Then he got sick of the whole industry and quit. He now works on an organic farm.

The other day I got a 401K statement from a previous job and it had lost $3,000 in the last quarter. To be honest, I can’t bother with worrying too much about it. Yes, I should probably move some things around but would it really matter? There’s so much in these retirement accounts that are not transparent and I don’t really trust the system.

I then got to thinking about all the investments I had made that have turned out great. Investments that may not mean anything to Wall Street but that have certainly made my life richer.

Getting married:

I’ve always been a pretty independent person and I used to wonder if I would ever marry at all. Then I met David. From the moment I first laid eyes on him I was smitten and still am to this day.  Being with him has been a wonderfully enchanting journey.  Yes, there have been some rocky moments but for the most part we are very compatible. I have a lover and a great friend in my husband. By teaming up together we have been able to pool our resources and have a lifestyle that we might not be able to afford on our own. He supports me in anything I want to do and loves me for who I am.

Investing in relationships is a lot of hard work but the pay-off of having a special companion to stand by you through thick and thin is another “well worth” it investment to me. David is my best friend and I look forward to growing old with him.  Being intimate with another person teaches you much about yourself and the world around you. It’s also fun to share your life with someone especially if it’s the right person. I realize some people either can’t or choose not to marry. I feel that any committed relationship between two consenting adults is legitimate whether they have a piece of legal government paper or not.

My Pets:

Pet companions are time consuming and expensive but I can’t imagine life without them. Every animal I’ve been lucky enough to have in my life has enriched my time on this earth in so many ways. Animals live in the moment and they love you no matter what. They don’t care what you look like or how successful you are. They appreciate the simple things like belly rubs, treats, and sunshine.

I’m pretty sure there’s a heaven and I know all those sweet souls that have passed away already will meet me on the other side one day. I can’t wait! But for now they still are with me because they live forever in my heart.

Practicing Yoga

Back in the nineties I stared doing yoga. I started out with flow and ashtanga and eventually found my way to Iyengar yoga. I go to a class almost every day as well as practicing on my own. Yoga takes up a lot of my time but the investment has been oh so worth it. I feel great and I don’t get as depressed as I used to get in my 20’s. Back pain is barely non-existent for me even though all the women on my mother’s side of the family have historically suffered from back problems. Not me! Knock on wood! And not my mother either. She started doing yoga and Pilates almost 15 years ago and her back pain eventually went away.

When you get down to it, yoga is mainly about self study and I have learned so much about myself since I started this ancient practice.  I enjoy the people in my classes and I am much more accepting of how I look and the whole aging process in general. I’m glad I invested in yoga. About 10 years ago I was thinking of going to law school but I didn’t know how I would be able to work full time, attend classes at night, and practice yoga the way I wanted. Yoga won out and law school lost. Yoga is an investment in my health and well being and what could be more important than that?

(If you’d like to read more about living simply and changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book which is available in paperback or Kindle: REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Baby Porcupine

Every Friday is “Friday Fun Day” and I post a website, quote, recipe, or story that relates to simple and minimalist living. Sometimes I just post something fun and inspiring!

A friend recently sent me this fable of the porcupine. I thought it was very touching and that we human beings could learn a thing or two from the porcupines! Enjoy!

Fable of the porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever.

Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided

to group together. This way they covered and protected

themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest

companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one

from the other. And they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of

their companions, or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they

learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the

close relationship with their companion, but the most

important part of it was the heat that came from the others.

This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings

together perfect people, but the best is when each individual

learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire

the other person’s good qualities.

My outdoor cat colony-Monkey is the gray one on the left

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. ~ George Eliot

Those who know me well know that I love animals with all my heart and soul. My animal companions have made my life so much wealthier. It has been a privilege to care for the animals I have been lucky enough to know. They have also been some of my best friends. I cannot imagine my life without the company of animals.

My husband and I currently have three in-door cats and a turtle. We also feed a small colony of four feral cats that live in our front yard. The colony started out as six cats. My friend/neighbor Dawn and I humanely trapped them and had them spayed and neutered. We then released them in our neighborhood where they could live their lives in peace and celibacy! Because none of the cats had ever had human touch contact they were not good candidates for companion pets. It is our belief that all animals deserve the chance for a decent life so we feed them religiously and take the responsibility of caring for them very seriously.

Someone once said that dogs have owners but cats have staff. They were spot on! Dawn and I have served as staff for these wonderful kitties for the past ten years. When my friend Maddy moved into the neighborhood several years ago, she became one of their staff as well. Did I mention that the three of us also serve on the staffs of our indoor felines as well? The indoor cats are really demanding and they don’t even pay us!

One cat in the colony disappeared early on and we never knew what happened to him. His name was Creamy. Another became sick and we were able to once again humanely trap him and take him to the vet. He had a fatal kidney disease so we had to put him down. His name was Simba and we were very sad when we lost him. The colony has held steady at four cats for quite some time-Monkey (the male of the bunch) and three females-Popcorn, Misty, and Georgie.

All four show up every evening for their wet food buffet and of course dry food is always available on my front porch. A couple of weeks ago I noticed that it had been two days since I had last seen Monkey. He always showed up like clockwork for the wet food. All four little four-legged darlings always patiently wait for me to bring out trays of mouth-watering dishes like Friskies Classic Pate Mixed Grill or Turkey and Giblets. After a couple of day of not seeing Monkey, I got super concerned. I was afraid he was ill or had been hurt.

When the kitties aren’t hanging out in my front yard they are usually hanging out in the backyard behind me. A very eccentric woman who decorates her trees and plants with pastel colored ribbons has always been very kind to them as well. She feeds her own outdoor cats and leaves out extra for our little group. Her backyard is overgrown with bushes and plants and in general it’s just a mess. For the cats however, it’s a paradise!

A week went by and still no Monkey. I took several walks in my neighborhood looking for him and even visited the eccentric lady’s yard to see if I could find him. Still no sign. I prayed he would return safely. I even sent telepathic communications to him asking him to please make his presence known to me. Maddy and Dawn were keeping an eye out for him as well. Again, nothing.

This past Monday at dusk I took another walk. I went by the eccentric lady’s (sorry, I don’t know her name) house again to see if I could spot him in her yard. No sign. I continued on my walk. I was getting ready to head back home when something told me to go back by her house again. As I was walking in the house’s direction I noticed a couple tending their garden in the house next to hers. Something told me to talk to them. I told them I was looking for a grey kitty with a mustache and fluffy tail who I had been feeding for several years.

The man and woman looked at each other and their face’s suddenly turned sad. He then told me he had found a grey kitty fitting my description ran over in the street a little over a week ago. Someone had put a trashcan next to him in the street blocking off the area so no one would further run over his body until he could be picked up. I was touched that someone respected Monkey enough to do that. The man told me that shortly afterward he had been removed. They said they were so sorry and I knew they felt horrible for having to give me such heartbreaking news. I thanked them for letting me know. Although it was a relief to have this closure, a small part of me died and I cried all the way home.

Life seems so empty this week without Monkey. I can only hope that he went quickly. I hope he knows that he was loved by so many people in our neighborhood. I hope he knows how much joy he brought to my life and how much I loved him and still do. I have lost many animals over the years and you would think it would get easier. It never does.

I still have fantasies that maybe Monkey is still around. After all I’m not 100% sure it was him. Unfortunately, my gut tells me it was because he’s nowhere to be found. I miss him showing up on my porch everyday. I miss his fluffy tail going back and forth and him coming up to the window to visit my in-door cats. He loved being the only boy and hanging out with the girl kitties in the front yard. He was quite the little lady’s man.

I dreamed of him the other night. It was as vivid of a dream as I’ve ever had. He suddenly jumped onto my porch and meowed at me. “Monkey,” I called out “you’re alive!”  Then I suddenly woke up. At first I was disappointed because I realized Monkey was not alive. Then it dawned on me that he was. He most certainly was. He visited me in my dream to let me know that although he had changed form, he was alive and well and would always live forever in my heart. Rest in peace and be free my dear Monkey kitty. I’ll see you again one day on the other side!

Hiking Trail in Topanga Canyon, CA

Is it just me or have we Americans created ridiculously complicated lives? Our monetary system is incredibly complex and our health care system has layers and layers of bureaucracy.  The cars we drive are complicated and very few of us understand how to fix them when something goes wrong. It seems there was a time when small complications could be taken care of quite easily in one’s own garage but not anymore.

Making a major purchase like a house involves stacks and stacks of paper work and most people don’t even understand the documents they sign. I’m all for choice but when I walk into a store there are so many choices that I’m often overwhelmed and want to go running for the exit. There are countless other examples of complexity but these are just a few that come to my mind as I write this entry.

What’s a girl to do, huh? I want a peaceful tranquil life. I don’t want to spend the majority of  my time bogged down in what I see as a lot of unnecessary complications. Certainly we were not put on this planet to spend disproportionate amounts of our time pursuing such mundane endeavors. It’s hard to enjoy life when our day to day routines are more complicated than a physics equation.

Here’s a few things I’m doing to “un-complicate” my life and make it as simple as possible. When life is simple I have more time to enjoy life and more time to spend doing those things I love.

• Lowering my standards when it comes to housework: My house does not have to constantly be spotless. As long as it is somewhat clean and the litter box is not overflowing with kitty poo then why does my house need to look like a Better Homes and Garden layout every day?
• Personal Grooming: I don’t have to constantly “dress up” and look like a fashion plate every day. I’m not advocating skipping showering or brushing my teeth, but do I need to put on eye makeup every day? Do I need to coif my hair perfectly?
• Controlling information overload: I don’t have to keep up with everything happening in the news. Some days it’s ok to take a break. This one is hard for me because I’m a political junkie and love to keep up with what’s going on in the world.  Besides, much of the information is just the same old same old.
• Food Preparation: Not every meal has to be an elaborate feast. Some nights it’s ok to just have a salad and some soup. Or maybe a baked potato with fun toppings. Thanks to Trader Joe’s I can get lots of healthy pre-made food at a reasonable cost.
• Paperwork: I’m trying to eliminate as much paper from my life as I can. I’m doing this by saving as much information as I can to my computer. If there is a hard copy that I must keep, then I will make a file for it, but most things can be scanned to your computer. This eliminates a lot of clutter.
• Only buying what I really need: I’ve been on a real minimalist kick these past couple of years.  The less time I have to spend on the upkeep of material possessions, the more time I have for the important things in life.

A simple life is a rich life.  What are you doing to simplify your life?

Me-Just Happy to be Alive!

Society has conditioned us to believe our wealth is measured by money and material possessions. However, our real wealth and true net worth expand much further than the numbers in our bank accounts.  If we limit ourselves to a narrow definition of wealth, we will never be able to fully enjoy life and experience our true riches.

Our current monetary system produces a lack mindset and leads us to believe we must constantly be chasing the dollar if we want to be happy and content. Messages of accumulating more, more, more are constantly thrown at us, and as we strive for bigger and better, it’s often never enough. Our longings for more seem to go to infinity.  We think that if only we had a bigger house, a job making 20% more, a fancier car, then we would really be set. But then we find out nothing could be further from the truth.  Often when we do end up with more, we find that the void we thought would be full is still empty.

Our economy is in intensive care, and there is no clear indication of when things will be better.  This is the perfect time to reexamine our thoughts and ideas about wealth. How empowering is it to define your net worth by an outdated and dysfunctional money game that is rigged for an elite few and is constantly upping the ante for the rest of us? Although the current system is our reality for the time being, we need not give it any more power than is absolutely necessary. As we shift our thinking, we realize our true wealth is the things that money just can’t compete with or provide.

The list below outlines some alternative ways to tally up your real net worth, so review it and see how you measure up. I bet you are worth gazillions!

• Your Health-It may sound like a cliché, but your health is your greatest wealth.  If you feel lousy, it doesn’t matter how much money you have stashed away or how many summer homes you own. More importantly, if you have bad health, it’s harder to enjoy your other riches such as your friends, family, and passions. Don’t take your good health lightly. It’s one of your greatest assets. If you think not, then talk to someone who is suffering from a serious illness. Most people who are seriously ill see a bigger picture than those of us who are healthy. Learn from them and start to expand your perceptions of what’s important in life. Wake up every day and thank the deity of your choice for yet another day of good health.

• Your Mate/Partner-What a wonderful thing it is to spend your life with someone you love. Our deepest desires as humans are not really money or the material, but love. Remember when you first fell in love and how great you felt.  Having someone to go through the good times and the bad times makes the journey of life so much easier. It’s a real blessing to have someone special in your life, so cherish them and don’t take them for granted.

• Your Children-Children are priceless! Need I see more?

• Your friends- Families are wonderful but our friends are extra special because we choose each other. We have no control over who our families are, but all the control in the world when it comes to picking our friends. Friends are there to help you through bad times and to share the good times. And when we reciprocate by being there for them, the rewards are two-fold, because we gain the joy of having been there for someone as well. Good friendships allow us to be with people who accept us for who we are and are not forever trying to alter us.

• Your animal companions-Animals friends bring so much joy and fun to our lives. Besides the regular activities we participate in with our animal friends, just watching them as they go about their day to day lives can keep us entertained for hours. Animals teach us to live in the moment and not to fret about the past or worry about the future. Our animal companions are the epitome of unconditional love.

• Free Time- The gift of time to spend in any way you choose is an asset rivaling the most successful monetary investments. What a luxury it is to have time to spend with family and friends, time in nature, time reading and relaxing, time for fun, time for getting adequate sleep, and time to just do nothing if that’s what floats your boat.  The extravagance of time is definitely a valuable commodity and an often under-rated resource.

• Access to Modern Conveniences- The times we live in provide us with more access to technology and modern conveniences than ever before in the world’s history. You have a refrigerator, right? Access to a washer and dryer? What about a TV, computer, microwave, radio, electricity, heat, air conditioning, etc? Compared to past generations, most of us live like royalty. Modern conveniences save us time and make life a whole lot easier.
• Your Life Experiences-Each of us are unique and our life experiences make us who we are. Whether they are good or bad, we can use our experiences to learn, teach, and contribute to those around us. So if you aren’t already, get out there and purposefully start living. You’ll have setbacks for sure, but you will also have many victories as well.

• Your Spirituality-If you are a person who travels a spiritual or religious path, then you know the rewards — peace of mind, comfort, support, a connection with the divine. Spirituality is what feeds our soul and differentiates between the materialistic world and the world we cannot see. We all know deep down there is something more to being alive than just what is in front of us, but so often we forget and get caught up in things that won’t matter in the long run. Our spirituality helps us through the challenging times and keeps us connected to what’s important in life.

• Your Education- An education is not only a degree or certificate. Education is a skill you’ve learned, or a book you’ve read that inspires conversation and thought.  Whether it is a degree from a fancy university, a trade school certificate, or information acquired from the local library, all are forms of education and are very valuable. Once you learn something, it’s yours for the keeping and can never be taken away from you.

• You Humor- Laughter has a way of soothing the human spirit and making us whole again. If you have the gift of humor and have people around to laugh with you, know that you have an asset that can carry you through most anything this crazy life sends your way.

Hunter and Shylo - two of my most non-toxic assets

The term “toxic asset” entered the cultural lexicon during the recent financial debacle. In a nutshell, toxic assets are financial assets that can no longer be sold at a reasonable price because their value has fallen substantially. One can sell them at a loss or just let them sit and pray that they will eventually go up in value. Most people want to get rid of them as fast as they can so they don’t fall too far down the financial abyss. This is probably the smartest thing to do since they probably will only continue to drag you down if you don’t trash them as soon as possible.

In addition to the financial toxic assets you may have, did you ever stop and think about the other types of toxic assets in your life?  Our over extended finances and bad money habits are not the only toxic game in town. Maybe you have relationships that no longer nurture you or you have a life extracting job.  Material possessions you no longer need or that cost too much to maintain can also deplete your life energy. Organizations you belong to that take up too much time and no longer feed you can be toxic as well.

Toxic assets are not always external factors. Our own judgments and narrow points of views can be poisonous to our psyches as well. As I begin to clear out the toxic assets in my life, I’m making it a point to pay attention to the opinions I have about the things that no longer serve me. If I choose to rid myself of something, I can do so without feeling guilty or like I need to justify my decision. Self doubt, judgment, and being too hard on ourselves serve no positive purpose. If something or someone is not enhancing your life, chances are they never will.

I’m shedding many toxic things in my life right now. It’s easy to lament the wasted time I’ve spent on these bad investments, but instead I’m focusing on the self respect and peace of mind I’m gaining. Maybe life was not meant to be as hard and complex as I often make it. Maybe it can be somewhat easier when I eliminate all that no longer has value for me. By ridding myself of these things, I make room for life to be easier and more fulfilling.  I can then let go and allow into my life exactly what I need. Who knows what that will be, but it will be fun to find out. We’ll see!