David on the hiking trail in Topanga Canyon

“For you wake one day, look around and say, somebody wonderful married me”.

~ Fred Ebb

David and I celebrated our wedding anniversary this past weekend. I am lucky enough to be married to one of the world’s best guys and each year with him just gets better and better. So when David asked me what I wanted to do for this year’s anniversary, he willingly agreed to my vision of celebrating our special day without breaking the bank. Finding creative ways to live a rich life without spending tons of money has become a sort of game for me. I don’t agree that money buys happiness and I’m always looking for ways to enjoy life that don’t depend on my financial situation.

Associating frugal with a wedding anniversary may sound sacrilege to some. After all we have been conditioned by the media to believe that such landmark occasions must include money and lots of it. Dictionary.com defines frugal: as economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful. As I work to become less wasteful in all areas of my life, the wedding anniversary celebration is no exception.

Last year we were in Costa Rica on our anniversary and celebrated at an amazing restaurant. (The Chilean Sea Bass was to die for and I still salivate when I think about it.) Fast forward to this year. I’m still unemployed so we decided it best to forfeit our previously hoped for trip abroad this summer. Instead I started to look into all the great things our local area has to offer. After all, we do live in a vacation destination and too often we take the sights around us for granted.

So what did we end up doing you might ask? We spent a day hiking in Topanga Canyon, CA. For those unfamiliar with Topanga Canyon, it is a mountain community in Western Los Angeles known for its bohemian culture. It’s the perfect place for hiking, biking, and horseback riding. It’s one of our favorite places. If it wasn’t for the long drive down the canyon to get to work we would love to live up there. Oh well! Maybe one day!

The drive up the canyon to Topanga State Park was beautiful. We could have parked on the back streets and walked to the trails but David insisted we pay the $10 parking fee because he wanted to support the parks. I agree it’s important to give back to our parks so I agree the $10 was well spent. We hiked down the Santa Ynez Trail which was supposed to take us to a waterfall. Going down was very pleasant and beautiful. Of course the waterfall was dry but the last time I hiked this trail it was dry as well. We got a good laugh out of that. Going back up was not so pleasant because you guessed it – it was all uphill! Even though we were hot and out of breath we had lots of laughs and David jokingly warned me I had better not pass out because he would not be carrying me back up the trail.

We finally collapsed in the car and turned the air conditioner on full blast. We had tentatively planned to eat at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants in Topanga, but we were a hot and sweaty mess. Topanga is one of the world’s most tolerant places but I didn’t want to push the envelope by patronizing a restaurant drenched in sweat. We went home instead and did something we rarely ever do. We had pizza delivered! The rest of the evening we viewed free shows from Hulu.com.

Earlier in the week David asked me what I wanted for a gift. I told him I wanted a jewelry box. He immediately said we would go out and shop for one. No, no, no I said! Not being much of a jewelry girl, I don’t have that much jewelry anyway. All I wanted was some kind of box to organize what I did have because I was tired of it all being a loose mess in my bathroom drawer. I told him there was no need to go out and spend money when I was sure he had some sort of box he wasn’t using that would be perfect for organizing my jewelry. He ended up finding a gray looking cash box that he once used to store his check receipts. Since he no longer needed it, he offered it to me.

Now I know most women might find this kind of gift downright insulting but it was perfect for me. First of all, he honored my request. Second, he “shopped” in his own home and found something perfectly good that was no longer getting any use. Third, we spent no unnecessary money, and fourth and most important, it was environmentally friendly. We didn’t contribute to more demand in the world for useless objects that use up the world’s precious resources. Most of us have so much junk anyway and if we get creative there’s often no need to always be buying something new.

I doubt any of the mainstream women’s magazines would glamorize our anniversary celebration but for me it was just perfect! We spent time with each other and laughed and played. After all, it’s all about the experience and enjoying each other. You don’t need money to enjoy each other’s company. You either do or you don’t. Thinking that spending money is the only way celebrate special occasions is the ultimate in status quo thinking. David and I have never been very status-quo so why should any of our celebrations be so?

Me with my Valentine Flowers and Shylo in the foreground stealing center stage

I had a wonderful three day weekend. Yes, even unemployed people look forward to three day weekends and Fridays as well!  We jobless people do a mammoth amount of work during the week-looking for work, housework, soul searching work, etc…

Saturday was a gorgeous day and I savored the red velvet cupcake my friends dropped by on Friday night. A better description of the “cupcake” might be a big slice of cake, as it was enough for two people. Red velvet cake is not a dessert I would make own my own so it was quite a treat!

Of course Valentine’s Day was Sunday. I’ve had several conversations with friends over the last few days about how people seem to be scaling back this year for Valentine’s Day.  People seem to be spending time together as opposed to having a “buy fest”. As one of my friends says “Every day is Valentine’s Day when you’re in love!”  I like this statement. Maybe it’s one reason why David and I have never gone all out on Valentine’s Day with expensive dinners, pajama grams, bouquets of expensive flowers, and Godiva chocolates. It’s a fun day but every day is special with David.

We woke up on Sunday morning and he make me breakfast. I then reciprocated and made a decadent shrimp casserole that evening. That evening we watched reruns of CSI.  No romantic classics like “The Way We Were” or “When Harry Met Sally” for us! No Sir-ee! We like watching the Vegas crime lab team secure and investigate a murder scene, perform autopsies, and decipher DNA coding. It was a great Valentine’s Day! Spending time with the love of my life and watching crime shows. We’re such a great match!

Monday, was President’s Day and David had the day off. I got up and went to an early morning yoga class. When I got home, David had a beautiful bouquet of roses waiting for me. He bought several bunches of flowers and arranged them himself. The kitchen looked like a messy floral shop, but I didn’t care. My flowers were beautiful. I’m not one to get excited over jewelry and other extravagant gifts, but flowers get me every time.

In addition, he bought me dark chocolate and a tiny stuffed dog which the cats are afraid of but are warming up to as I write. I had mentioned to him earlier that flowers would be nice but we are watching every penny we spend so I didn’t completely expect him to come through. But he always does, he always comes through for me. At times it seems this holiday is nothing more than a Hallmark driven over-commercialized holiday. But at its core, it’s well meaning and the perfect time to splurge on little luxuries and say I love you to the one we love the most. If splurging on little luxuries is not in the cards for you, then splurge on time spent with your significant other. Like my friend says, “Everyday is Valentine’s day when you’re in love.” May we all carry the spirit of Valentine’s Day with us throughout the year!

Me-Just Happy to be Alive!

Society has conditioned us to believe our wealth is measured by money and material possessions. However, our real wealth and true net worth expand much further than the numbers in our bank accounts.  If we limit ourselves to a narrow definition of wealth, we will never be able to fully enjoy life and experience our true riches.

Our current monetary system produces a lack mindset and leads us to believe we must constantly be chasing the dollar if we want to be happy and content. Messages of accumulating more, more, more are constantly thrown at us, and as we strive for bigger and better, it’s often never enough. Our longings for more seem to go to infinity.  We think that if only we had a bigger house, a job making 20% more, a fancier car, then we would really be set. But then we find out nothing could be further from the truth.  Often when we do end up with more, we find that the void we thought would be full is still empty.

Our economy is in intensive care, and there is no clear indication of when things will be better.  This is the perfect time to reexamine our thoughts and ideas about wealth. How empowering is it to define your net worth by an outdated and dysfunctional money game that is rigged for an elite few and is constantly upping the ante for the rest of us? Although the current system is our reality for the time being, we need not give it any more power than is absolutely necessary. As we shift our thinking, we realize our true wealth is the things that money just can’t compete with or provide.

The list below outlines some alternative ways to tally up your real net worth, so review it and see how you measure up. I bet you are worth gazillions!

• Your Health-It may sound like a cliché, but your health is your greatest wealth.  If you feel lousy, it doesn’t matter how much money you have stashed away or how many summer homes you own. More importantly, if you have bad health, it’s harder to enjoy your other riches such as your friends, family, and passions. Don’t take your good health lightly. It’s one of your greatest assets. If you think not, then talk to someone who is suffering from a serious illness. Most people who are seriously ill see a bigger picture than those of us who are healthy. Learn from them and start to expand your perceptions of what’s important in life. Wake up every day and thank the deity of your choice for yet another day of good health.

• Your Mate/Partner-What a wonderful thing it is to spend your life with someone you love. Our deepest desires as humans are not really money or the material, but love. Remember when you first fell in love and how great you felt.  Having someone to go through the good times and the bad times makes the journey of life so much easier. It’s a real blessing to have someone special in your life, so cherish them and don’t take them for granted.

• Your Children-Children are priceless! Need I see more?

• Your friends- Families are wonderful but our friends are extra special because we choose each other. We have no control over who our families are, but all the control in the world when it comes to picking our friends. Friends are there to help you through bad times and to share the good times. And when we reciprocate by being there for them, the rewards are two-fold, because we gain the joy of having been there for someone as well. Good friendships allow us to be with people who accept us for who we are and are not forever trying to alter us.

• Your animal companions-Animals friends bring so much joy and fun to our lives. Besides the regular activities we participate in with our animal friends, just watching them as they go about their day to day lives can keep us entertained for hours. Animals teach us to live in the moment and not to fret about the past or worry about the future. Our animal companions are the epitome of unconditional love.

• Free Time- The gift of time to spend in any way you choose is an asset rivaling the most successful monetary investments. What a luxury it is to have time to spend with family and friends, time in nature, time reading and relaxing, time for fun, time for getting adequate sleep, and time to just do nothing if that’s what floats your boat.  The extravagance of time is definitely a valuable commodity and an often under-rated resource.

• Access to Modern Conveniences- The times we live in provide us with more access to technology and modern conveniences than ever before in the world’s history. You have a refrigerator, right? Access to a washer and dryer? What about a TV, computer, microwave, radio, electricity, heat, air conditioning, etc? Compared to past generations, most of us live like royalty. Modern conveniences save us time and make life a whole lot easier.
• Your Life Experiences-Each of us are unique and our life experiences make us who we are. Whether they are good or bad, we can use our experiences to learn, teach, and contribute to those around us. So if you aren’t already, get out there and purposefully start living. You’ll have setbacks for sure, but you will also have many victories as well.

• Your Spirituality-If you are a person who travels a spiritual or religious path, then you know the rewards — peace of mind, comfort, support, a connection with the divine. Spirituality is what feeds our soul and differentiates between the materialistic world and the world we cannot see. We all know deep down there is something more to being alive than just what is in front of us, but so often we forget and get caught up in things that won’t matter in the long run. Our spirituality helps us through the challenging times and keeps us connected to what’s important in life.

• Your Education- An education is not only a degree or certificate. Education is a skill you’ve learned, or a book you’ve read that inspires conversation and thought.  Whether it is a degree from a fancy university, a trade school certificate, or information acquired from the local library, all are forms of education and are very valuable. Once you learn something, it’s yours for the keeping and can never be taken away from you.

• You Humor- Laughter has a way of soothing the human spirit and making us whole again. If you have the gift of humor and have people around to laugh with you, know that you have an asset that can carry you through most anything this crazy life sends your way.