Another Beautiful Day in Marina del Rey, CA

I decided not to blog last week. My thoughts were all over the place and I didn’t want to bore anyone with an incoherent rambling session. So instead I took a break.

Breaking rules has been on my mind lately. You know, breaking all the rules held sacred by conventional wisdom that we rarely question. Taking a break from blogging was actually very apropos for me last week. When I started blogging I was given advice by several other bloggers and various other so-called experts who suggested blogging at least once a week or better yet several times a week in order to be taken seriously and create a following. I was going to post something just for the hell of it but I asked myself why? Because there’s some rule out there that some people say I must follow?

I have a really hard time with rules.  Always have. Now I have no problem following traffic rules and I don’t go around breaking into peoples’ houses, etc. But many of the so-called rules we all adhere to may not be in everyone’s best interest. I’ve always questioned rules even though I have often followed many of them all the while wondering why in the world I was doing so.

Like many people, I was saddened to hear that Steve Jobs transitioned out of this world last week. Steve Jobs was certainly a man who broke all the rules. He didn’t graduate from college. He was an erratic micro-manager and he relied on his instincts instead of the traditional counsel of those around him. He was a revolutionary who didn’t give a damn what others thought. He lived life on his own terms and he lived the hell out of it.

I was backing my car out of the driveway when I heard the news. I wondered why the radio announcer kept referring to him in the past and then a couple of seconds later it hit me that he was gone. I didn’t even know the man and even though I had (and still have) great admiration for what he contributed to the world I did have some problems with some of Apples’ labor practices under his tenure. But we are all a mixed bag, aren’t we?  There are parts of all of us that are good and parts of all of us that are not so nice. We are all victim to our own humanity no matter how hard we strive to be decent people.

While giving a commencement speech to Stanford graduates in 2005, Steve Jobs said “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

A friend told me this week that this quote inspired her to adopt a new cat. She had wanted to adopt this particular cat for quite some time but was worried that because she is in her 70s and not in optimal heath that she might die before the cat did. She said that when she read this quote in the newspapers she decided to follow her heart and do what she had wanted to do for the past year. A few days ago she adopted the kitty. She said she has never been happier about her decision.

Steve Jobs said that when he dropped out of college he “decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.” Sometimes we just have to trust, don’t we? We have to trust that we will have enough money or that our health will hold out a little longer or that a kitty we’ve had our eye on was meant to be with us.

There is a great deal of economic and social turmoil in the world right now. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines in fear and not do anything. Instead of just weathering the storm maybe this is the perfect time to do something. Out of chaos comes creativity and new beginnings.  Start that business you’ve wanted to start or write that book that’s been in your head and dying to get out. Join one of the many protests popping up all over the globe if you want to make your voice heard. Follow your heart because life is short and you deserve a rich life. Break the rules! Just do it and trust it will all work out OK.

(If you’d like to read more about living simply and changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book which is available in paperback or Kindle: REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Japanese Garden in California

I’m a big believer in saving money. Amy Dacyczyn’sThe Complete Tightwad Gazette is one of my all time favorite books because she made me look at saving money as an art form and a game and not a deprivation practice.  Ever since I read her book I often find myself asking “What would Amy do?” Would Amy go out to dinner or would she whip up a scrumptious feast from the leftovers in her fridge? Would Amy buy the knit black top on sale for $20 at Ann Taylor or would she scout the thrift stores for one that cost a dollar?

If you spoke to my husband he would probably say I’m a bit too cautious when it comes to spending money so he loves it when I do because he thinks I should treat myself from time to time. I always joke with him that he hit the jackpot in finding a life partner because I have cost him very little money. He recently wanted to buy me something as a treat and all I could think of (other than a trip to a foreign country) was a pedicure. I do a lot of yoga and I stare at my feet quite a bit. I like having a fun color painted on my toenails but I usually do it myself which is a real pain in the ass. What a treat to have a professional paint my tired little toes and massage my feet. It was worth every bit of the $28 he spent which included the tip.

Having been in major debt when I was younger, I have no desire to sing that sad song again so yes I have a tendency to live in the fear mode sometimes and to not want to spend money on anything but the bare necessities. However, I’m noticing that I’m beginning to loosen up a bit when it comes to spending money. What’s the purpose of hoarding money if you never do anything with it to enhance your life or those of others?

I’m not advocating living beyond one’s means or buying cars or houses that cost and arm and a leg to impress your friends and family. No, I’m talking about spending money on things or experiences that are an investment in your happiness and quality of life. After one has an emergency fund,  the bills have been paid, and you’re not in debt why not loosen up and open up your wallet?

I read a lot in the financial news about how corporations are hoarding their money because they are unsure of what the future will bring. My reaction to this is usually one of judgment. I think about how greedy they are and how they need to loosen up some and spread the wealth a little. Then it dawned on me I’ve been a bit of a money hoarder as well. Being careful is great but you have to strike a balance.

My household doesn’t have tons of money but we aren’t in debt and our rainy day fund is there for unexpected vet bills, car repairs, and any other emergencies that come up. At some point I think you just have to say I’ve got some back-up money now and I need to quit living in fear of going broke. How much would it take to feel totally secure? Interesting question because there’s probably not a monetary amount that would make me feel secure. True abundance comes from within not from the balance in your checking account.

Spending money a little more freely is part of my journey to lighten up, live life more in the moment, and trust that I can spend money without some horrible consequence. Below are ten things I think are worthy of spending my money on. I still look for good deals but I’m trying not to obsess over a few dollars if I have to spend a little more. Your list may differ because we all have different priorities and circumstances.

• Charitable contributions are always worth it.  Knowing that I’m helping a cause I believe in empowers me to take physical action as well.
• Travel is important to me because the experiences you have are not only are fun but your mind is opened up to new ways of thinking and living. It’s a great form of education and the memories are something you will always revisit.
• Furthering your education is always a good investment. Whether you take a foreign language class or a course in needlepoint, education always enhances your wealth.
• Anything related to your health is also money worth doling out. Yoga classes, vitamins, acupuncture, the list is endless…. Investing in your health is always wise and the return is usually very rewarding.
• Good quality food is very important to me. With food prices going through the roof my first reaction is to seek out the cheapest deals possible but buying food that I know is good and I have an appetite for is a much better use of my money. It’s the same model I use with clothes or any other material item. I would rather have less of something that is quality than a bunch of food in my pantry that I don’t like or want.
• Miscellaneous experiences such as dining out with loved ones or horseback riding because you love horses. While in AL visiting family recently my brother and I went out to dinner and I insisted on footing the tab. It wasn’t real pricey but not cheap either. What was invaluable was the great time we had together. It was worth every penny.
• Spending money on my pets for quality food and vet care is a priority for me. My little companions give me more joy than I could ever put a price tag on so I will always spend money on my pets.

•  Good wine. I used to buy the cheapest bottle I could find that was not akin to Boone’s Farm.  I now spend a little more on a quality bottle and it actually lasts much longer. The wine is so good that often one glass at dinner is enough for me because I don’t want to ruin a good thing by having too much and not remembering how exquisite it tasted.
• My hair. I have always spent money on a good haircut and highlights and will continue to do so. I only go 3-4 times a year but it’s one of my major beauty splurges because it makes me feel good. I’m not into massages, beauty supplies, facials, etc.. but I do like to have nice hair.
• Air conditioning and heat. I used to always monitor the thermostat like a hawk. Now I’m tired of that game.  If it’s too hot or cold why put myself through the torture of being grossly uncomfortable.

(If you’d like to read more about living simply and changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book which is available in paperback or Kindle: REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Pippy: the little lady of leisure!

I have been downsizing for many years now. A great lavish lifestyle where all of the sudden I sold the Mcmansion and started taking the bus to work is not my story. I’ve been living somewhat simply since the late 90s when I began the process of getting rid of things that I no longer needed and searching for ways to make everything in my life from managing my work and social schedule to doing the grocery shopping as simple as possible. Below I list and reflect on some of those changes that have made the most difference and others that I aspire to in the future.

Our One Car Household: It’s been well over six years now that my husband I have gotten by with one car. We live in Los Angeles and cars are a big deal in this town. I’ve never been much of a car person nor been very impressed by anything that anyone drives. As a matter of fact, I react oppositely to how many people react when they see an expensive car. Instead of automatically thinking that person is loaded and successful, I immediately wonder whether or not they are in a lot of debt or if they got a really bad deal on a lease.

Being a one car household has saved us more money that I could ever have imagined. Another plus is not having a car payment and of course I feel like we are doing our part to help the environment in our own small way. I can’t say how long we will continue to be a one car household. We tell ourselves we will do it until it doesn’t make sense for us anymore. So far it’s made sense. There’s a certain amount of finagling of schedules and compromise but the benefits have definitely paid off.

My aspiration is to one day be completely car free but until Los Angeles gets its act together in the public transportation dept, I don’t know if being a no car household would work for us. Yes, it’s probably an excuse and we could do it now if we were really committed but the truth is we’re not ready for that drastic of a step just yet. Also, my husband doesn’t share this goal with me and anyone who is partnered up with someone knows the name of the game is compromise!

Going from Full Time to Part Time Work: Taking a part time job (even though it often ends up being full time) has given me the gift of control over my schedule. I love my job because I get to help animals and I love being able to set my own hours. There are of course some things I have to show up for at a particular time but much of what I do can be done at any hour of the day as long as I meet my deadlines.

I consider having control over my time a form of wealth. When I was stuck in an office, if I needed to visit the dentist or go home to let the plumber in, I had to get everything ok’d with my boss and make sure I had co-workers to cover me. The decrease in pay has taken some getting used to but I find I can make up for the loss of income by cooking more at home and having the time to shop around for better deals when we do need to purchase something.

My goal is to manage my time even better going forward so I can work fewer hours on the administrative part of my job and more hours doing the work that involves direct contact with the cats. I would also like to start a small vegetable garden in our front yard but I am having a hard time finding the extra time to make this a reality at the present time. I also have an idea for another book in my head and the more free time I can gather the more time I have to write.

A Smaller Wardrobe: Once upon a time my clothes closet was so full I barely had room for everything. Now I open my closet and it’s hard to believe an American (especially a girl from the south) would own so little! However I love it! I may not have as much as I used to but what I have is quality and I love wearing everything I own. I’ve also thrown out most of my jewelry and accessories that I don’t want.

Clothes are no longer a way for me to look good. I now concentrate more on exercising and eating well. I figure this is the best way to look healthy and attractive. Not the mainstream media’s idea of attractive but my own idea of what’s attractive. My wardrobe consists mainly of neutral colors and classic pieces. Most of the time I wear yoga clothes because they are comfortable and I go to a class almost every day.

As little as I have, I’m still looking to downsize my wardrobe even more. I mean really how many clothes do we need? Fashion will probably always interest me as I consider it a form of art but I’m learning how to enjoy clothes without having to buy everything I like. I now buy only a few pieces of that “art” and enjoy the rest from afar.

 Buying Very Few So Called Beauty Products:  I still wear make-up but not like I used to. A little bit of eye makeup and some light colored lip gloss is pretty much it for me these days. I also wear sun block every day. All of those miracle wrinkle cures and stay young forever creams no longer interest me. I think the day that I realized if money could buy you youth then women of great monetary means like Nancy Reagan and Queen Elizabeth would still look 35. And of course the men would to!

The vanity part of me also says that the older I get the better I look with the least amount of crap on my face as possible. I no longer have a lavish skin regimen and my skin actually looks better than it did when was in my 20s. Most of my life I have suffered with severe breakouts but now that I put very little on my skin I rarely break out anymore. Too bad I didn’t figure this out when I was younger and gave a hoot about what I looked like.

It’s not that I don’t care now what I look like now that I’m in my 40s because I do. I want to look presentable but I’m totally accepting of what I was given in the looks department. What you see is what you get and there are way too many interesting things to do and explore than to waste my time trying to coif my hair perfectly and find the perfect shade of lipstick.

I hope to one day be brave enough to say no more make-up but not because I think make-up is evil. Making up takes time and I think that one day I will want that time back even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

Almost 13 years later, I’m still downsizing and looking for that balance that allows me to live life peacefully yet with just enough excitement to keep the journey interesting. The one amazing thing I can report is that I have never made a change that made me feel deprived or less than because it didn’t conform to societal norms. If anything, each time I have downsized I have felt more light and free.

(If you’d like to read more about living simply and changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book which is available in paperback or Kindle: REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Waterfall in Los Angeles

My job working for an animal welfare organization takes me to South Los Angeles (South LA) quite a bit. For those unfamiliar with the makeup of the Los Angeles area, South LA is the area formerly known as South Central. The socioeconomic status ranges from impoverished to middle-class with a disproportionate number of people living in poverty. Many are unemployed or are losing their homes because they can’t pay the rent. Too often my job puts me in contact with those who in addition to trying to take care of themselves are also struggling to feed and care for their pets.

A girlfriend of mine recently turned up her nose when she found out how much time I spent in South LA. She made one of the “ugh” sounds and I could immediately tell this was not the topic of conversation she had in mind for us that day. She immediately changed the subject to where she was going to vacation next. I don’t think my friend is uncaring but she simply doesn’t want to think about people who are in financial dire straits. Maybe it hits too close to home for some people and by ignoring other’s suffering they don’t have to venture out of their comfort zone.

It’s easy to live in a bubble and forget that so many people in our own cities are struggling to afford the bare bone basics. While the more affluent sit around and whine about their real estate or 401Ks going down in value, there are people who don’t even have a place to live. Taking the time to listen to those who are in desperate economic situations gives us more compassion. The poor are suddenly not a statistic or stereotype. They are not those lazy people who just need to “pull themselves up by their boot straps” that certain American politicians would have you believe. Most of these people don’t even have a set of bootstraps to use to begin to pull themselves up. Meeting people who have fallen on desperate times due to a job loss or health issue quickly remind me that that “There but for the grace of God go I”.

I had the pleasure of meeting Ivonne many months ago when she contacted Stray Cat Alliance for cat food and help with finding a place for her cats. Her situation has put many things in perspective for me. Yes, there are the obvious things that I’m reminded of such as having a roof over my head, plenty to eat, and the ability to pay a ridiculously expensive power bill that keep going up each month. However, I have also discovered that no matter what our situations we can still reach inside ourselves and find abundance. Ivonne has very little monetarily and she is disabled yet she still has joy in her heart and the will to keep going. She loves her cats dearly and feels they make her life rich. There is a short video about her at the end of this post that I think you will find touching. Despite all she has been through she still keeps forging ahead and there is not one grain of bitterness in her.

Ivonne always thanks me when I bring her cat food. She was especially appreciate lately when I told her a foster had been found for two of her cats and that a few leads had come up to possibly assist with finding homes for her others. But the truth is I should thank her. It’s easy to talk a good game when the going is good and I’m the first to admit my life is privileged in so many ways.

I don’t have an easy answer as to what to do to address the horrendous amount of poverty going on in our world today. Obviously our politicians and business leaders don’t either or worse yet too many of them simply don’t care. But too many of the general citizenry do not care either. I think many people think that by shutting these people out they will simply go away. But their numbers are growing and they are becoming harder to ignore. It’s going to take a massive change in the consciousness of us all to address this problem and an understanding that whether we like it or not we are all inter-connected and it is simply not acceptable for anyone to be left behind.

(If you’d like to read more about living simply and changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book which is available in paperback or Kindle: REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Walkway at George Washington Univ in Wash DC

What is money exactly? Yes, it sounds like a ludicrous question because we all know what money is right? Money is that $20 bill you take out of your billfold at the grocery store or it’s that debit card you swipe through the machine when you need to fill up your car at the gasoline pump. If we dig deeper into this question, it’s actually a bit difficult to answer. Is money an object? And where do they keep all this so called money? And who the hell is “they”?

Where did all that money go in the 2007 financial meltdown and all the meltdowns before then? How much money is in the world and where does it come from? Why do some have so much and some have so little? Is the work of a teacher or nurse really less valuable then a hedge fund manager or professional athlete?

When I was a child I remember trying to get some straight answers about money. Where does it come from I would ask. Who controls the money supply? All I would get were status quo academic answers from status quo academic people who through no fault of their own had been fed the same answers from a status quo society. Money comes from the bank they would tell me. But where do they get the money? No one had an answer that made sense to me or that got to the root of my question.

I eventually found out my answers about our monetary system and who controlled the money supply. Money is created out of thin air and controlled by the big central banks based on a model that growth must constantly be increasing. The entire modern monetary system is based on the ever expanding debt of individuals, companies, corporations, and governments. This however is unsustainable because our natural resources are finite and at some point will dry up if we are not careful and selective in how we use them. If you’re like me and curious about how our monetary system works, check out Money is Debt. This video takes what is a fairly complicated subject to explain and puts it in simple everyday terms.

Once you grasp how the monetary system operates, it’s tempting to feel pessimistic. However, I take comfort in knowing that it’s a human made system and has nothing to do with real abundance. Our beliefs systems about money keep the concept alive. Money is valuable simply because we believe it to be so. Human made systems can be changed and so can our belief systems. It doesn’t have to be the way it is. The more people are educated about what’s really going on the better chance we have to come up with new ideas and demand a system that works for everyone.

All this talk about money then brings us to the question, what is wealth? If wealth is having lots of money then what happens when your money no longer has any value? For instance, if people start losing faith in something that is perceived to have value, then that “something” quickly loses its value. Then those who were so called rich simply own a lot of valueless money, stock, real estate, etc… Basing your wealth on money is risky because you never know which way the markets will fluctuate.

Money is ultimately a hollow object. Maybe this is why people of all different income levels never feel wealthy enough because money has no meaning in and of itself. I think it’s important to feel wealthy no matter what our present system dictates. This is a difficult concept to accept I realize but how come there are so many people who can feel content despite being “poor?” Why do so many people take pride doing important jobs that they know our system does not reward financially but that gives them great pleasure and a feeling of making a difference? We would all be competing for jobs as bankers if money really was the end-all and be-all. But notice we’re not. Not everyone has a desire to go into those professions that promise great financial rewards. That’s probably because deep down we don’t really value money but we value work that means something to us.

At the beginning of this year I took a part time job in an animal non-profit organization. I’m making less money that I ever have before in my life but I don’t feel “poor “at all. This was a real breakthrough for me because I’ve previously based how wealthy I felt by how much money I was making. And you know what, it was never enough. No matter how much I had, I always felt I needed more.  I thought that if only I could make a little bit more or if my stocks would just increase in value then I would feel more secure and in turn more wealthy.

I now base my wealth on more important things. I’m grateful to not be going to a soul sucking job each day doing something that is not in line with my value system. I’m thankful to be healthy and that I have money for shelter, food and travel. I trust that I will be taken care of and I’m letting go more. Life is easier when I don’t put so much effort into trying to accumulate more and worrying that what I have will be taken away. In other words, my life is wealthier.

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)

Beautiful Lake in Orlando, FL

The world seems to keep spinning faster and faster and sometimes I just can’t keep up. Often, I don’t even want to keep up. Do any of us ever keep up anyway and if so is the prize worth it? My head  starts to oscillate when the world is coming at me from all directions. Is the world moving faster or is it just my imagination?

Here’s a fun scientific tidbit to contemplate. According to Mark Reid of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, “It turns out that our solar system is moving nearly 100,000 m.p.h. faster than previously thought — revolving around the center of the Milky Way at 568,000 m.p.h.” I’m no scientific expert but this does make sense. If you’re like me and you’re fascinated by science, you can read more about this at: Time.com.

As one who has worked for years to simply my life, I have to admit 2011 and my new part time job (which I do love by the way) has given me a run for my money. When life gets to be too much I have to consciously step back and ask myself what can I do to simplify further? I obviously can’t control others but I can control my reactions to what’s going on around me and I can make changes. Below is a list of some things I’m working on to bring my life back into balance and simplify even further.

Prioritizing my day: I’m learning that not everything on my “to do” list needs to be done every day. I get done what absolutely has to be done and everything else can wait if need be. The reality is I can’t do it all contrary to what the expectations of those around me may be. I am not “Super Woman” and that’s ok.

Turning off my cell phone when I need a break: I love cell phones and how they can make communication easier.  What I don’t love is being expected to call or text someone back 10 seconds later just because someone decided to contact me. Maybe I’m in the shower or as unfathomable as it may seem, I decided to go for a walk on the beach sans my little Star Trek gadget.

Tossing out the excess: Getting rid of paper and electronic clutter as soon as it makes its way to me makes my work and home environment more peaceful and manageable. The info on business cards can be quickly entered into my computer address book and then thrown out. Junk mail and spam is obviously thrown out right away. Ditto for any other physical or electronic documents that I don’t need to keep.

Wearing comfortable shoes: I like a cute sandal or dress shoe as much as the next gal but what I like more is comfort. Wearing shoes that I barely notice are on my feet make life so much easier. Better yet, going barefoot feels even better. So many things in life are out of our control but we can make sure our feet feel good which in turn makes us feel good.

Spending more time with my animals: My cats always make me feel better. Whether it’s petting them or watching them play with their favorite toys, being with my felines never fails to put me in a good mood. My turtle Speed is also fascinating to watch.

Eating light: Eating too much or too heavily makes me feel weighted down and tired. Eating light gives me more energy. I also make sure I eat what I love. If you hate a particular food don’t feel you have to eat it just because it’s healthy. Eat only those healthy foods you love because what we eat should be a pleasurable experience.

Opting out of text messaging conversations:  I don’t mind if someone texts me to communicate a simple message but long drawn out text conversations are anything but simple for me. I now give the person texting me a call and tell them I would prefer we resolve the issue via email or phone, because I can type or talk faster than I can text.

Declining social invitations when they don’t work for me: I have some friends who invite me to get together socially only when it works for their job schedule or that of their children. Although I don’t blame people for asking to get together when it works for them (we all do this), I am learning that I don’t need to feel guilty if the time doesn’t work for me. Just because someone has a demanding job or chose to have children does not mean I have to always be the one to accommodate and compromise. My schedule is equally important.

Doing something fun: Sometimes I get so busy with working and taking care of life’s daily chores that I forget to have fun and do something for me. This might mean working a crossword puzzle or reading a mystery novel. It may be an impromptu coffee date with a friend or better yet – it may be doing absolutely nothing at all!

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)

Hanging out in Solvang CA with a Dutch Shoe

Summer’s here! This laid back season brings warmer weather, longer days, and of course vacations. I love to travel. Whether it’s a destination a few hours away from home or a locale on the other side of the globe, I love to get out and see the world.

Travel can be expensive if you’re not mindful of where your pennies are going. Many expenses such as transportation and lodging can’t be avoided. And of course we all have to eat and when in a new place, you of course want to sample the local cuisine. Checking out the local sights can also add up. What’s the point of traveling somewhere if you don’t pay to see what only that part of the world can offer?

Lots of good information can be found on the web about getting good deals on travel and how to see some really great places for as little money as possible. But what about souvenirs?

This is definitely one area that can either be completely avoided or where as little money as possible can be spent. Souvenirs are completely optional of course. No one is going to throw you out of the Louvre because you don’t buy anything from their souvenir shop.

Just to clarify, I don’t think of souvenirs as that gorgeous painting from a local artist that you decide to have shipped back home or the purchase of local wines, coffee, or chocolate. I don’t put those purchases in the same category as those useless little figurines, picture brochures, key chains, salt and pepper shakers, etc… we think we have to buy so we can remember our trip to Tokyo. These types of souvenirs add up and contribute to the clutter most of us constantly fight in our homes. We also have to lug souvenirs around in our luggage which can slow us down if you’re trying to travel light and free.

When I was in high school, I went to England shortly after Princess Diana got married. London was full of all things “Diana” and I did my part in contributing to the mania by buying Princess Diana picture books, dolls, plates and anything else I could get my hands on to commemorate my trip to London. Years later, I found all these items stored away in a chest. What was I thinking? I realized that any time I thought of my trip to England, I thought about the grandeur of Stonehenge, listening to the political debate in the Speaker’s Corner at Hyde Park, and touring Westminster Abbey. I thought of the picturesque little town of Bath, England and visiting the area of London where the Beatles once played. Never once did I reminisce about the Royal Wedding souvenirs I purchased with my hard earned babysitting money.

In my travels today, I no longer even waste my time going into those shops with all the little doo dads. No matter what part of the world you are visiting, most are made in China anyway. My digital camera creates my souvenirs. I take tons of pictures of places and things that I want to remember. The memories and experiences are more important to me and isn’t that why we travel in the first place? I know it’s why I love to travel.

As cold as it may seem, I very rarely shop for gifts for others when I visit a new place. I also don’t expect friends or family to bring me a souvenir spoon back from Bangkok or wherever it was they went. I would rather see pictures and hear about their trip because maybe one day I would like to visit there as well.

Of course, old habits do die hard for some people so if you are trying to get off the souvenir bandwagon, why not start slowly and collect matchbooks from the places you visit? If you go to a foreign country, why not bring back some postage stamps or save a few pieces of the local currency or coins? If you are used to collecting something from each trip at first it may seem strange to not come back with a bagful of useless novelties. I guarantee however that you’ll have a wonderful trip anyway. Your memories will be just as vivid without all the useless trinkets. You may even find that you have an even richer experience because you ‘re out there taking in more of your surroundings and not wasting precious time in the souvenir shop.

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)

Adelie aka Pippy hanging out on her post

We live in a culture that loves to give gifts. Although I don’t doubt that this practice comes from a place of love, I would argue that most of our giving is influenced by advertising and societal pressure to give gifts for almost every occasion under the sun. The list is ridiculously long: Valentine’s Day, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, bridal showers, baby showers, graduations, retirement parties, housewarmings, baptisms, confirmations, bar mitzvahs, bas mitzvahs, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, Secretary’s Day, and of course the Granddaddy of them all- Christmas!

Christmas gift giving has always struck me as strange since you would think there would be a better way to celebrate the life of Jesus than buying your girlfriends another rose scented candle. Yes, very little is sacred anymore. We have managed to turn our spiritual and religious traditions into nothing more than a profit fest for the local shopping mall. And Christianity is not the only religion guilty of this.

Consumer spending accounts for two-thirds of the US economy. That’s a big number. No wonder we are made to feel like we have to keep spending. We have to keep the insanity going because God forbid we have a system that is sustainable and doesn’t waste the planet’s resources. No, we must all have excessive amounts of useless crapola in our houses so the stock market can continue to soar its way to oblivion.

Now I realize we do live in a world where a certain amount of conformity is to be expected and opting out of gift giving entirely can be hard. Can you imagine showing up at a wedding without a gift? And I confess that I would be greatly peeved if my husband did not remember my birthday with some sort of gesture like a bouquet of flowers or a mouth watering delicacy made with plenty of sugar.

I’m not against gift giving. I’m against the useless stuff we give each other that eventually gets stored away in someone’s closet or ends up in a bag for the local goodwill to pick up. Who says we can’t reinvent the gift giving game and play it a different way? And what better way to do so than give vanishing gifts.

What are vanishing gifts? Anything that vanishes. Yes, I know I’m being a bit of smart aleck but gifts that eventually vanish but leave us with wonderful memories  are the best of all. I still remember enjoying an incredibly fabulous bottle of French wine that a friend gave me a few years back.

Below are some other ideas for vanishing gifts that won’t clutter people’s minds or homes and more importantly are easy on Mother Nature!

• Charitable donations to a friend of family member’s favorite cause
• Local Wines
• Foreign or Domestic Wines
• Sparkling Waters
• Fruit Baskets
• Gourmet or organic foods
• Baked goods that you made yourself
• Organic Coffee
• Assortment of teas
• Fresh Flowers
• Plants
• E-books
• A subscription to Net Flix
• Body soaps, oils, and lotions
• Gift Certificates (maid services, pedicures, pet sitters, etc.)
• Experiences-plan a special outing with your loved one like a hike, picnic, visit to the beach, dinner, play, or movie
• Theatre or sporting event tickets
• Membership to a museum or other cultural institution
• A class such as a cooking class or art class
• Dancing lessons
• Membership to a yoga studio
• Massages, acupuncture
• iTunes Gift card
• Food treats for people’s pets

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)

Japanese Garden in Nikko

Western Culture is obsessed with ownership. George W. Bush talked about the Ownership Society as if it was some kind of holy concept that would save us all. However, he can’t take all the blame because all he did was mirror the consciousness of where the majority of people were at the time. Many were happy to be given the red light to chase the so called “American Dream” of ownership at any cost. We incurred too much debt and became slaves to our jobs so we could afford those goodies that we were told would make us happier.

Anyone who brought up community or sharing was pounced upon by those who worshiped greed as their god. You were quickly labeled a socialist, a communist, too idealistic or simply out of touch with the realities of human nature and there was no room for discussion. Case closed. We were encouraged to buy buy buy and go into debt debt debt. A lot of people got rich rich rich because we followed like naive cattle being led to slaughter.

The road of materialism is a dead end. What did it bring us? Is anyone any happier because of what they own? I mean really? Are we? We became out of balance and forgot about the concept of sharing. Human beings need each other and we are meant to share. We are social animals and the only way out of our current mess is to take care of each other and realize we are all in this together. There is no economic philosophy that will save us. There is no tax policy that will suddenly make everything right again. Our mind sets must change.

Jesus said you will be judged by how you treat the least amongst you. So many in the corporate and political power structures love to talk about Jesus and how they follow his teachings. I would ask those people; do you think that he is proud of how we treat each other? Do you think he would condone old people going without medical care and poor children going hungry? Was this his message? The Jesus I know about said nothing about Capitalism, tax cuts for the wealthiest or making excessive profits by grossly exploiting human labor and the environment. I also have a feeling that he would be none too pleased about the military industrial complex. The Jesus I know stressed sharing and taking care of each other.

How do we start to share again? How we do we create a world where everyone is fed, clothed, educated, and has access to health-care? We can’t wait for the politicians or business leaders or we will be waiting a damned long time. Life in the future is going to change and planning for it as if it is going to stay the same is pretty much impossible. The system is broken and it’s time to build something new.

Instead of a society that focuses on competition and individualism how about community and collaboration? This whole idea of sharing makes some people really nervous. They are worried that they will get left behind. They wonder will I get mine. Will someone take advantage of me? Will I end up being the giver and never the receiver? Don’t buy into the fear. Instead buy into the possibilities.

Start now by sharing what you already have with your friends and neighbors. You can start small if you are still unsure. Lend a book or a dvd or give it away if you no longer need it. Maybe a neighbor’s vacuum cleaner is broken and they could use yours if they can’t afford to replace their old one. You may find out that there are several other appliances that you can share with others. Ask around the next time you need something and see if someone is willing to share. Become more involved with your community. Go to a town hall or neighborhood association meeting. Volunteer for a cause you believe in.

You don’t need me to give you a laundry list of ways you can share. You know what to do. You know how to share. You were taught how to share when you were younger but unfortunately those teachings did not follow us into adulthood. We became fearful and brainwashed. We became afraid that if we did not look out for number one we would be left behind.

We can build a sharing society if we really are committed. Everyone wins when we share because everyone feels taken care of and part of something that is larger than ourselves. We are really hardwired for helping each other but we have forgotten this. Don’t believe me? Try it.

Experiment and make your life more about sharing instead of the constant pursuit of what only serves you. Then ask yourself how sharing makes you feel? How does it feel when others share with you? Seneca, the mid 1st century Roman philosopher said, “There is no delight in owning anything unshared.” Many centuries later these words still ring true.

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)

spring flowers

The Roman poet Phaedrus said Things are not always as they seem, the first appearance deceives many.” I was recently reminded of this when I was browsing through realtor.com looking at real estate prices in my area. My husband and I aren’t even in the market to buy but for some reason a few Sundays ago I found myself searching for real estate that would fit into our humble budget.

I found out that for a small down payment, we could buy a condo and the mortgage would be comparable to what we are paying in rent. Note: most condos in my area that are in our price range are really just renovated apartments so we’re not talking about anything real fancy. But still, what a deal, huh? And in Southern California no less! I was beginning to get all excited until I stood back and let my saner self take over. Yes, the rent and mortgage may have run neck to neck but what about all the other expenses?

So I started to break it down. Financing a new home requires that you pay property taxes, insurance, and interest on loans. Add closing costs into the mix and condo or home owner association fees in some cases. Home inspectors, appraisers, the cost of moving – the list goes on and on….Then there are appliances that you usually need to invest in such as a washer and dryer and refrigerator if you don’t already own them. Costs for leaking roofs and overflowing toilets are suddenly your problem. No more calling your landlord and letting them foot the bill. Year to year maintenance must be done to keep things working efficiently and smoothly.

Other costs are time. Time that you will need to put into the care and maintenance of your home. Then there’s the cost of not being as mobile as one may like. If we ever wanted to up and move, it wouldn’t be so simple anymore. Then there’s the risk of uncertainly. California has low property taxes but I fall into the camp that thinks that party might come to an end soon. Any purchase carries risk and it’s important to know what those risks might be so you can make your decision armed with as much information as possible.

Jobs are another area that can cost us more than we originally thought. I recently took a job which I love at a small non-profit. I had the opportunity for other positions that would have paid more but much of that extra income would have been eaten up in other expenses. More importantly, I would not have been working for a cause I have great passion for. Since I work at home I don’t have a commute. This saves money and time. I can still take my husband to work and pick him up (he works only a few miles away) and we still don’t have to invest in a second car. I’m not tempted to go out and buy food or coffee because I have everything I need in my kitchen. There’s no need to invest in special clothes that fit a particular work culture.

Cars have lots of hidden costs. I don’t think I even need to go into much detail because I’m sure most people understand perfectly. Tax, registration, insurance, maintenance, and gasoline are not included in that sticker price. So the next time you go to buy a car, know that the price is not representative of what it will be when it’s all said and done.

With a few exceptions, I rarely buy any clothes that need to be dry cleaned or ironed. The money and time involved are not worth it to me. When we travel and buy airline tickets, I now know better than to think the cost is my purchase price. There’s transportation to the airport, food to buy when it’s a long flight and it’s not feasible to take your own, and baggage fees. I very rarely check my bags but you never know when they will tell you that you have to do so.

Pets have hidden costs. I should know! Those cute little fuzzy four-legged creatures have to eat, need veterinary care, and they take lots of time. Children have costs as well. I can’t tell you how many times I heard new parents say they had no idea how much children could cost. As my grandmother used to say “from the womb to the tomb”. For the record,  I think sharing our lives with children or pets or both is worth every cent. Just know that there will be some costs involved even though in most cases it seems like there was no initial expense!

I do not write about any of the above subjects to say that we should never consider any of these purchases or lifestyle changes. I write about this to get us thinking about the extra costs and whether or not they are worth the investment for our unique situations. In some cases they will be and in some cases not. Take my situation for example. For the time being home ownership is still not the right choice for me but that could change in the future and there will be no surprises when I sign on the dotted line.

We live in a culture that encourages impulse decisions. Very rarely are we taught to analyze much of anything. Going in lockstep with the sheeple may sometimes seem like the easiest thing to do but boy do we pay for it in the long run. Wrong decisions rob us of more than just our monetary wealth. Always ask, what will be the cost in terms of money, time, creativity and energy? Asking these questions can save us from making choices that leave us frustrated and disappointed.

(If you’d like to read more about changing the way you think about wealth please consider reading my book REDEFINING THE MEANING OF WEALTH: DISCOVERING PROSPERITY AND FORTUNE IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.)